Chapter Text
.
.
The flight attendant wakes him up. Shotaro slept through the landing and now everyone is leaving and he’s covered in blankets thinking he’s in bed. She gives him a little threat, a cute transparent bag of cookies saying Happy Valentine’s Day!
“Thank you,” he says in English, nodding, before standing up and stretching.
The new American partners paid for first class and a five-star hotel. They want that store.
He has never been to New York before, so as soon as he gets to the airport, he calls the designated cab just to find out he is already waiting for him with his name handwritten on a paper.
“Shotaro-san?” The man asks.
“It’s me!” Shotaro smiles, waving. The man looks relieved, probably because Shotaro speaks English.
Shotaro only feels safe again when he leaves the airport - the last time he was in one, he was chased by the media. This is not the case at the moment and he doubts it’ll be like that night again, even if he decides to visit Korea.
The past three months were enough for them to (almost) forget Shotaro.
It wasn’t easy.
Shotaro received a lot of attention when he came back to Japan, due to his own store and name being known enough for them to consider him and Wonbin a “celebrity couple”. During the first week, magazines and newspapers would call him and ask for an interview or send him emails trying to schedule a meeting. They probably thought Shotaro would try to capitalize on the car event; oddly, Wonbin’s management was much smarter than him when it came to it. While Shotaro just kept quiet and tried to move on with his life as if nothing happened, Wonbin’s agency slowly started to use the bad press in their favor.
It started subtly and organically with a trend of his fans posting car keys and signs on social media. Wonbin, I drive a Porsche and I’m free to take you anywhere, the viral post said. Then it became a big thing and some people would post pictures of themselves driving. Maybe Binnie wants a ride today.
So Wonbin got to star in a luxury car advertisem*nt. The following day, employees recorded the rich fans at the door, waiting to buy the exact model he was driving in the TV commercial.Then he announced a single, cut his hair, and started changing his wardrobe to more mature clothes, no more those tight shirts or cropped tops. He looked elegant in the pictures, a bit older.
In interviews, they wouldn’t mention the subject. Nothing had happened, apparently. Shotaro kept watching everything, following Wonbin's fanpages like he was just an enjoyer, mostly because he was worried about Wonbin. In Korea, nobody seemed to care about Shotaro - they didn’t even call him by his name, it was just the Japanese boyfriend. Wonbin’s fans also left him alone pretty quickly, despite the terrible messages they sent at first.
By the middle of December, Shotaro’s life was almost normal. He was staying in his childhood bedroom, going to work, and redecorating his new house.
The house looked beautiful by then but was way too empty and lifeless, so Shotaro decided to bring his personal touch to every room: he would draw or paint on the walls and call artists (mostly friends) and commission them to change the empty walls. He was also buying small decorative items, art pieces, and interesting gadgets.
He was so focused that he almost had no time to go out. When his friends asked him to hang out, he could only be available to meet them at clubs - at night, when all work was done.
Men would often approach him to ask for his number and he always politely declined. I’m taking a break from dating, thank you.
He would text Eunseok almost daily, sending memes, pictures of the house, selfies, or funny videos. Eunseok replied to all of those. I miss you,the model would text, bold and clear. I miss you too,Shotaro would answer every time. Yet they wouldn’t talk about meeting. The house wasn’t done and Eunseok was as busy as him - work, family problems, everyday chores.
Everything changed at the end of the year, right after Christmas.
Wonbin was invited to a popular singing show to showcase his talent as a vocalist. He sang a few of his songs, and, as expected, he also sang a cover. The chosen song was Baek Ji Young’s Voice , a popular and sentimental ballad that was quite difficult to sing. Wonbin nailed it, giving an emotional performance that went viral a couple of days after being posted online. They were all surprised he was such a good ballad singer, but his ability to touch people’s hearts was the key to the success of the performance.
Voice, however, was a song about a difficult breakup where the perspective is from a person who hates their ex-lover but can’t move on.
At this point, no one had mentioned a breakup. The order was to never talk about their relationship and, of course, announcing that they were no longer together would bring attention to the issue again, so they were just waiting for the whole thing to die out to casually drop out that Wonbin, was, in fact, a single man.
And it was just a cover. Except that Wonbin sang the first part exactly as the song goes I can hear that guy’s voice/That guy's voice that hurts and makes me feel worse , but, suddenly, at the end of the song, when Baek Ji-young sings I am also a woman after all, Wonbin sang I’m also a man, after all.
A newspaper commentary column published: Park Wonbin proved he’s a skilled singer but also that he knows the pain of heartbreak. Why does this young boy sing like he has gone through three divorces? The young people are crying, Wonbin!
Shotaro woke up to a hundred hate messages. You scum. You’ll pay for what you did. You were lucky he even looked at you, you piece of sh*t. If I see you, I’ll break your teeth.
He remembers reading through the messages, confused, sitting on his Pokemon bed sheets, and not being able to point out what motivated their anger again. Sohee sent him the cover and asked Shotaro to stay in Japan for at least another month. Shotaro lay in his room, stared at his action figures, and listened to the cover nonstop.
Then one of the fans buys rings worth around 50k dollars in the Korean store and breaks it, posting on social media This one's for you Binnie. A tarot reader is asked on TV about Wonbin’s heart - she shows them The Tower card. Poor boy,she says, what a mess!
The situation gets out of control and Wonbin needs to address it in a very Idol way. He opens a live and asks the fans to not overthink anything he sings. I’m a singer,he explains, and I’m singing one of my favorite songs. My mom is a big Baek Jiyoung fan and she was the one who asked me to sing one of her popular songs. I knew the lyrics by heart. That’s all.
They pretty much still despise Shotaro after that, but the messages slowly stop coming.
The redecoration ends on January 4th. Shotaro throws a party to celebrate and invites family and friends. Eunseok can’t come, but Sohee does and adds a bunch of brand-new drawings to the wall.
In the same week, they receive an offer to create a collection to be sold at a high-end American store - they want it done before Valentine’s Day, so Shotaro works through days and nights to make sure they’ll be ready to be advertised and sold by them. The new American partners offered a showcase and a spot as featured design at the Fashion Week.
Shotaro had no control over the advertising choice and Eunseok was selected for another job overseas.
So when Shotaro arrives in New York, they haven’t seen each other for over two months. At this point, Shotaro almost feels disconnected from the mess that was the previous year. He lives in his house, works in his country and he’s almost certain that he wants to leave Korea behind.
Does he miss Eunseok terribly? Yes.
So when he gets to the hotel and lays in bed, he gets his phone, hoping for anything from Eunseok. He’s surprised when he finds the model through a notification.
silverrock_319 is following you
Shotaro sits up, shocked. Since he reactivated his accounts he sure got many followers but he can’t believe Eunseok has now an Instagram account. Shotaro opens it to find just one picture, which isn’t even a selfie but a picture of him sitting on the stairs, staring at the person taking the picture. He looks, as always, out of his world.
osakishotaro so handsome ♡
silverrock_319 thank you, shotaro-san!
The answer comes immediately so Shotaro can’t help but send a message.
osakishotaro: hey pretty could I have your number??
silverrock_319: send a dick pic first so I can analyze the material
Shotaro laughs, alone in the room. God, he truly misses Eunseok, his calm big eyes, and his weird humor. Yet he’s terrified of seeing the man again. He’s still recovering from the rollercoaster his life has become since Eunseok walked in.
He wonders if Eunseok is seeing anyone. He feels ashamed to think about it when he messed up Eunseok’s life so much.
therock: I can’t believe you’ll deny my humble request
taro: I’m not your sexual object, you pervert
therock: ok I see I see
therock: where are you?
taro: ny
taro: are you still in Europe?
therock: yup
therock: quite cold
taro: did you open an acc
taro: and who took that pic?
therock: my little brother (both things)
taro: gift him a camera, please
taro: you always look good
taro: but you looked amazing
therock: you don’t have to see me through pics
therock: you know that
Shotaro breathes deeply, trying to avoid the vivid memories that arise when Eunseok starts this kind of conversation.
taro: don’t even start
therock: *winking rock sticker*
therock: heheheh
taro: stop hanging out with your brother
taro: you’re sounding like him ???
therock: stupid shotaro
therock: come here
taro: stop!!!!!
therock: [picture]
Shotaro holds his breath before opening it and then smiles when he sees it’s a selfie of Eunseok.
taro: oh it’s a cute pic
therock: why “oh”
therock: were you expecting anything else?
taro: NO
Shotaro laughs.
therock: I miss you
taro: I miss you too
Shotaro expected his feelings to calm down a little, but every time he gets this kind of message his heart beats violently.
therock: I don’t want to pressure you
therock: but I’ll work on the Tokyo Girl Collection in March
therock: so I’ll be around
taro: should I see you there?
therock: I don’t want to brag but
therock: but I’ll be wearing leather pants
therock: they’re very tight
taro: oh let me check if I can attend it
Taro sends a message to the Tokyo Office - normally they get a few tickets whether the event management sends or the OSAKI office asks for them. Shotaro is politely informed that they didn’t send any and not only the office’s request was denied, but they also asked the office to not buy the tickets in any other way.
Shotaro is the main director of the OSAKI Tokyo office so, instead of resting, he decides to call the TGC organization and ask himself why he can’t get an invite.
They put him in the line with a big name. The man apologizes a couple of times and tells Shotaro that the headline performer sent a block list in their lists of requests to perform at the event. Anyone from OSAKI was banned if they wanted Park Wonbin to be at the event.Shotaro gasps, alone at the hotel. His eyes are focused on the “Welcome to NY!” pack they left for him on the bedside table but his mind is blank. The man keeps talking on the other side but Shotaro just excuses himself, thanks him for the info, and hangs up.
He can’t remember the last time he was this angry. He feels the blood rushing to his face and he takes a deep breath - he hates ugly feelings and despises being angry and not under control. Most people around him have never seen him truly mad; annoyed and stressed at best. He keeps his emotions very kept and makes sure he never picks a fight if he has to.
taro: are you blacklisting me now?
He doesn’t expect Wonbin to answer. He’s usually blocked, which at this point he thinks is for the best.
binnie: no
binnie: can I call you? I can explain it
Shotaro looks at the answers and he doesn’t do anything. He’s trying to be calm and rational and he’s definitely surprised by the quick and careful answer.
binnie is calling you…
Shotaro knows he shouldn’t pick up the call. He and Wonbin can’t deal with each other anymore. Yet, it’s been so long since Wonbin willingly tried to contact him that he can’t help but answer.
“Hey, listen,” he sounds sleepy but worried. “My management is trying to avoid more talk about us so they’re checking beforehand if you’re attending an event before getting a deal. If you’re in the list, I don’t go so--it’s not blacklisting.”
Shotaro waits for a second, measuring the emotion in his voice before speaking.
“I was informed I am being hindered from attending an event because of you.”
Wonbin also takes a second but he seems to be hesitating.
“Which event?”
“Tokyo Girls Collection Spring/Summer.”
“Are you featuring? They booked me as a headliner, I doubt my management would sign me for it if they knew you’re a part of it.”
“I’m not a part of the event. I want to attend it.”
“Oh,” Wonbin mumbles. “No, you can’t. We can’t be at the same venue.”
His voice is low and it suddenly hits Shotaro what that means. The consequences of the car picture never really reached Shotaro because they’re no longer together, but if they were… Shotaro gulps. He thinks about how devastating it would have been. Their relationship would never survive the exposure.
“Shotaro?”
The lack of honorifics bothers him, and in his mind he’s scolding Wonbin, telling him that they’re no longer friends or lovers and they have to act accordingly. But he’s exhausted. He’s truly reaching his limits. It has been months of weird messages, death threats, renovating his house and moving around without a place to rest and Shotaro is starting to realize that even now that they’re no longer dating his life is still being dictated by Wonbin’s career and wishes. For the past few years, all he did was adjust to whatever Wonbin wanted from him.
“Whatever,” Shotaro switches to Japanese. “Please ask your management to inform your schedules in advance if they truly want us to be kept apart or I’ll get my lawyers involved.”
Wonbin doesn’t answer. Shotaro can only hear his breathing on the other side of the phone.
“Do you understand?” He asks firmly.
“Yes. I do .” His voice is low.
“Great. Hope you’re ok. Bye.”
Shotaro throws the phone on the bed. He washes his face in the bathroom and then realizes he needs a shower, he needs to sleep, he needs to stop thinking about Wonbin because they’re no longer together and they will never get back together, no matter how hard it seems to move on and cut the Idol completely from his life.
He goes back, picks up his phone, and decides to finally accept the obvious.
taro: not going to see you at the Tokyo Girls
taro: but if you want to stay in Japan
taro: you can stay with me
taro: you know I want to see you
therock: if I knew you liked leather pants that much, I’d be wearing them sooner
therock: hehehe
taro: I don’t like leather pants
taro: I like you
He takes a breath and drops the phone again, nervous. Every time he talks about how he feels about Eunseok it’s like allowing a locked beast to peek out of the cage - there’s this sense of danger that he’s going to lose it all if he allows himself to let it go.
therock: I love you
Shotaro smiles at the notification.
He’s able to get some rest before going to the store. It’s fancy, standing beside some designer brand flagship stores, but they’re a mix of brands inside. The OSAKI setting looks beautiful in glass and white and pink marble, all mirrors and soft frames for Valentine’s Day. There’s a bunch of people waiting for him with cameras and devices ready. Shotaro has been saying no to any type of interview since the car incident but now it’s a work thing, so he smiles and greets them all.
While he answers a few questions, his attention is drawn to one pendant on display, the “diamond” drop of water. What are your plans for the U.S.? What is your inspiration? Will we have an actual OSAKI store?
One lady shoves her phone in his face.
“How are you dealing with your personal life being exposed by the media? Do you think it affected your business?”
Two people next to her seem vaguely annoyed, but there’s only silence. Shotaro glances at the manager and the security starts moving.
“I have nothing to say about it,” Shotaro says simply.
They ask her to leave and it serves as an example for the remaining interviewers. He takes some pictures and stays in the store until it closes. They brought him from so far to be there for a day, but he spends a few more just going to different places after getting some tips from Anton.
When he comes back to Japan, he feels much better - it’s almost a new life, coming home to his new apartment, working in Japan full time, barely speaking any Korean, except for texting. He feels a sense of freedom and authenticity he has never felt before, like a real adult who can make his own choices, at least for once.
As the end of February approaches, while he works on a brand new collection, he is contacted by a big magazine that wants to write about the brand. It’s an important feature and they seem to imply that Shotaro will be soon in a “famous” list.
ddori: it is the 30 under 30
ddori: I’m pretty sure
ddori: I’m shocked they didn’t put you on the list last year
ddori: OSAKi is bigger than some business there
taro: I think it’s because we went fully eco friendly now
taro: but I’m not sure about opening the archive for them
taro: we never disclosed it before
ddori: well, that’s true
ddori: I’ll check with the custom clients if they authorize showing their pieces
ddori: It’s a BIG opportunity, Hyung
taro: yeah, I know, I’m excited!!!!
Shotaro accepts the magazine request but asks for a couple of weeks just to make sure everything is okay.
He gets in a work mood again and lives between the OSAKI office and his own office at home. His house now has a bunch of family pictures and some with his friends, but then he remembers that he doesn’t have pictures with Eunseok in his place. He searches for a few from his birthday and prints them; after that, he cuts them in the shape of a heart, and he is suddenly reminded of his locket.
He searches for Eunseok’s name and selects one nice picture (it needs to be from a photoshoot to get a good resolution) to print in a size small enough to fit into the little heart. When he finishes, he takes a picture of it and sends it to Eunseok.
taro: *picture*
therock: *happy rock sticker*
therock: that’s cute
therock:I don't have one of those, I just have sohee's drawing of us
therock:but anyways
therock: see you soon
therock: how’s the weather?
taro: it’s raining, but cool
taro: but it’s still oddly cold for March
therock: I expect warm hugs as a compensation
taro: of course <3
Shotaro smiles like a fool as he always does when he reads those cheesy messages. For someone practical and grounded, Eunseok is always surprisingly romantic. He’s always calling Shotaro handsome, pretty, or cute and Shotaro can’t help but reciprocate, being always in awe of how someone can be this cozy and sincere.
He ends up working at home for the next day. Not only is it easier for him, but he can also watch the TGC runways at home.
He catches a couple of Eunseok walks; the brand he’s with is the last one to get on the runway. Shotaro stops everything he’s doing and runs to his living room, turning the big hidden TV on to see it on a bigger screen.
Eunseok on the runway is always a jaw-dropping sight and Shotaro can’t help but gasp every time he walks with a blank face. They put him in tight leather pants, a white button shirt, and a long shiny coat for the first one, and the second and the third one were long skirts for men, both with glittery makeup and hair down. Shotaro waits until the end to see the designer and it’s a small girl dressed in cute clothes. He even waits a little bit, but it seems like Eunseok won’t return.
He thinks it’s best that Eunseok can have his working day without Shotaro around to distract him so Shotaro sends his address to the model just in case.
taro: anytime you want
He’s sure Eunseok is probably going to be tired and busy to visit him immediately after getting out of a flight and heading to work so when the clock hits midnight he gives up on waiting for a message and goes to the kitchen to cook, even if he’s sleepy. He wants to work a little more because he feels inspired and creative (and anxious).
When he goes back to his little office room, he realizes there are a few missed calls. His heart beats faster and he scrolls through the notifications looking for Eunseok’s number but it's an unknown one. Normally Shotaro wouldn’t call back, but it could be related to Eunseok.
“Hello,” Shotaro grabs his mug and realizes the coffee is cold.
“Hello, Shotaro-san, ” a familiar voice says. “This is Wonbin’s manager. We talked a few times, hope you remember me.”
Shotaro freezes.
“I do. Did something happen?”
“We were celebrating Wonbin’s birthday after he opened an event today--do you know he’s in Japan?”
Shotaro stares at the calendar on his wall. March 2nd.
“I’m aware,” he mumbles absently.
“He drank a bit too much and the staff crew is all here celebrating with us, so. He escaped the hotel at some point, we have just realized.”
“Are you sure he’s not hiding in a bathroom or back in his room?” The designer frowns, confused. Why are they calling him of all people? This is not something he can help with.
“No. He took a cab--I get a message when he pays with his card. He’s going somewhere,” there’s a pause. “I think he may be heading to your house.”
Shotaro gulps.
“Why do you think that?”
“Just a guess. If he gets there, could you inform me? We’ll handle it quietly.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you very much, Shotaro-san. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
Shotaro stares at his phone, genuinely concerned. They didn’t even want Wonbin and Shotaro to be in the same venue. Why would Wonbin do something so reckless?
Well, lately he’s selling an edgy and sexy rockstar persona, but there’s no other option after being exposed while having public sex. And it’s working. He’s still popular and loved, judging not only by the numbers he’s able to pull, but also by how the angry and possessive messages continue to flood Shotaro’s social media accounts from time to time. Not that he cares about it anymore.
He goes back to the kitchen to check the pork; it’s done, he nods, so he turns off the oven and starts to gather the ingredients in the bowl until it looks nice enough for him to eat.
The doorbell rings. Shotaro checks the clock on the wall, the rain on the windows, and the lack of warning that there’s a guest. It’s someone with a pass, but not the key.
Shotaro sighs. He no longer leaves the keys outside.
He walks to the door and braces yourself to see Wonbin.
It’s like a horror movie, he thinks, as soon as he sees Wonbin standing in the dark, wet from head to toe, black silk shirt glued to his skin. His hair is so short now, shorter than Shotaro's and it makes him look much manlier.
“Oh, this is the cue for the thunder sound.” Shotaro giggles, sleepy and tired.
Wonbin doesn’t seem to get the joke. He stares at the other man seriously, drops of water rolling down his cheeks and chin.
“You didn’t ban me from the building,” he whispers.
“I didn’t think you would come back,” Shotaro says simply. “Show me your hands. Are you holding something?”
Wonbin raises his middle fingers.
“Great.” Shotaro giggles again. “Take off your shoes.”
Wonbin does take off his shoes before entering, but he’s soaked and leaving a trail of water as he walks on Shotaro’s very expensive lime carpet. Shotaro closes the door and walks to his own room, looking for a towel and clean warm clothes. He warms and piles them up and comes back to the living room, where Wonbin’s wet steps are everywhere.
“Oi, just sit down,” Shotaro orders impatiently.
Wonbin is now in the kitchen. Shotaro can see him standing next to the suspended table. Shotaro follows him and puts the pile on the chair next to him.
“Stop moving around,” Shotaro says. “Go change your clothes.”
Wonbin looks at him, his hands holding a bowl.
“Abura soba?”
Shotaro nods.
“Can I?” Wonbin points.
Shotaro picks one pair of colorful chopsticks on the kitchen counter and gives it to him. Wonbin takes the chopsticks, and to Shotaro’s surprise, starts to eat immediately.
“Oh. That’s new,” the older man can’t help but say.
Wonbin munches and shrugs.
“I gotta gain weight,” he says with a stuffed cheek. “They want to bulk me up for an underwear advertisem*nt.”
“Of course.” Shotaro turns back and starts preparing another bowl for himself. He takes his time to make it as prettier as the previous one and when he turns to Wonbin, he almost has a heart attack.
Wonbin is fully sitting down on one of the chairs - the material, pretty much like the suspended table, is wood.
“Get off there,” Shotaro complains. “I can’t let it get wet!”
Wonbin jumps, startled by the raspy tone, still holding his bowl.
“Can’t you see the clothes next to you?” Shotaro sighs. “Go change now.”
Wonbin looks at him and then at the pile of clothes and towels. He puts the bowl on the table - not a single placemat in sight - and starts opening the buttons of his shirt.
“Not here,” Shotaro mumbles. Wonbin doesn’t seem to care; he takes off his shirt and throws it on the floor, spilling water on the marble. Shotaro presses his temples, stressed, watching how Wonbin does the same with his black pants.
He stares deeply into Shotaro’s eyes as he takes off his underwear and gets the towel, drying his naked body and then his hair without shame.
Shotaro is pissed, but he knows Wonbin wants him to be pissed off, so he doesn’t react. He wants until Wonbin gets dressed again, collects the wet clothes, and puts them in a trash bag. He knows the full outfit probably costs as much as the chairs, but that’s the only bag he has available at that time. He hangs them in the laundry room and goes to the kitchen with a mop.
Wonbin eats his food and stares at Shotaro mopping the floor.
“Why are you here?” Shotaro has to ask because Wonbin would never start speaking on his own.
“I wanted to see how the place looks now.” Wonbin slurps his ramen. “Sohee told me you renovated it but didn’t leave.”
“It’s a good place. Near my work.”
“It looks cool.” Wonbin looks over his shoulder to the living room. “It seems more spacious and fancier now.”
“Thanks.” Shotaro dries the mop, smiling like he’s in an ad. “Couldn't have done it without your help.”
Wonbin snorts.
“Happy birthday,” Shotaro says casually, leaving the kitchen with the mop. He takes his phone on his way back to the kitchen.
“I’m calling your manager,” he warns the Idol.
Wonbin, again, doesn’t seem to care.
“Can I have more?” He extends his bowl. Shotaro sighs, taking the bowl from his hands. He gives Wonbin the one he made for himself again.
“Thank you.” Wonbin sits again, now looking completely different in Shotaro’s baby blue sweater. “Tell him to not freak out. I’m taking a special cab back to the hotel before the birthday live. I haven’t forgotten it.”
“Why don’t you tell him yourself?”
“Well, I don’t want to. You’re the snitch.”
“I’m not snitching on you. I just don’t want anyone blaming me for whatever happens to you,” Shotaro says calmly, pressing the phone against his ear. “They don’t allow me to be in the same space as you and now you’re ruining my kitchen chairs.”
Wonbin stops eating and stares at him.
“I had nothing to do with the blacklisting,” he sounds apologetic. “They just decided it.”
The manager takes the call and Shotaro opens his mouth but Wonbin jumps off the chair and goes to him like a hurricane. He smashes Shotaro’s body against the counter before snatching the phone from the designer’s hand.
“I’m fine,” Wonbin says quickly, his hot breath against Shotaro’s chin as he talks on the phone. “No, I’m not--sorry. I know. I did--sorry. I know, I know. I’ll be here until I’m no longer drunk. I’m eating. Okay. Sorry.”
He finishes talking and puts the phone back in Shotaro’s palm. He doesn’t move away, though, still pressing their bodies together.
“He called me first,” Shotaro explains, feeling oddly guilty about it.
Wonbin looks at him; his face is too close. His eyes are reddish but not puffy.
“Are you high? Did you smoke--” Shotaro whispers.
Wonbin nods. Shotaro looks at the bowls and yeah. It makes sense. The whole thing makes sense. Wonbin moves his body a little, rubbing himself on him. Shotaro leans back.
“No,” Shotaro mumbles.
Wonbin holds his face with both hands, thumbs against Shotaro’s cheeks. He’s doing that face, a natural pout, and bedroom eyes.
“You were mad about this damn show and I didn’t know why,” he whispers. “So I asked for the name of the models and yeah. Guess who’s there. You’re so predictable. It’s not even about your work.”
Shotaro stays in place, barely wincing when the thumbs press his lips slightly.
“I wished I had seen him today but--wrong time. He’s really pretty, isn’t he? Very kind. Very professional. Kinda boring.” Wonbin's voice is low and distracted and it’s the first time in years that he rambles like that. “I don’t know how to explain it but. He looks. He looks like he gives bad head.”
It’s so unexpected that Shotaro can’t help but laugh.
“Oh my,” Shotaro tries to hold the laugh and fails again. “Binnie, you’re really high.”
“Don’t call me like that,” he pouts.
“Well, maybe stop trying to get in my pants first.”
“Is he better than me,” he asks, still holding Shotaro’s face. “Do you prefer being with him? Hm? Is it better with him?”
“It’s not about sex. You know I love him.”
Shotaro is being fully honest because he also knows this is the only way to make sure Wonbin will give up. Maybe it’ll make him mad. But it’s the truth.
“I didn’t--that wasn’t my question. Answer my question.” He doesn’t seem affected by it. “I don’t care if you love him. My fans--my fans love me. They take care of me… they protect me. They are loyal. They wouldn’t leave me like you did. They only look at me.”
Shotaro now gets the painful honesty back. It hurts a little but he knows he deserves it.
“Then go be with them.” Shotaro tries to push Wonbin away gently.
“Answer my question.”
“Wonbin. Let me go.”
“Stop being a coward,” Wonbin spits but it’s like a whisper. His hands are cold like the marble under their feet.
“He is not better than you--I don’t even know what you want me to say.” Shotaro removes Wonbin’s hands from his face, holding the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “He’s not bad at sucking dick or whatever you think. Get off.”
Wonbin is pouting. It’s cute but Shotaro knows he can’t point or react to it at a time like this. It’s like staring at a cat’s belly, knowing he can’t touch it.
“You know,” he says and his voice is slow and raspy. “You can renovate this whole house, you can get a new boyfriend, you can leave the country, but you can’t get rid of me.”
“Well, I can see that.” Shotaro lets out a nervous laugh.
Wonbin holds his face again, now just one hand grabbing Shotaro’s jaw.
“I’m serious--take me seriously. Don’t treat me like a child,” he orders. “I’m f*cking serious. Listen.”
Shotaro relaxes his body, giving up. He never picks a fight and he’s not gonna fight a drunk and high Wonbin in the middle of the night.
“I’m listening.”
“You can’t erase me from your life,” Wonbin says. “Not even if we don’t talk… ever again.”
“I’m not trying to--”
“Listen. God you talk so much, you.” Wonbin blinks, trying to focus. “I want to sleep.”
Shotaro rubs Wonbin’s arm.
“Take a nap on the couch. I’ll get a blanket, Binnie, you’re so cold--”
“Stop calling me like that. You don’t get to call me like that.”
“Fine. Let me go.”
Wonbin steps back and to Shotaro’s surprise, he leaves the kitchen and sits on the couch. Shotaro fixes the mess he left in the kitchen and goes after some blankets.
Wonbin is still sitting on the couch holding his knees. His eyes are heavy and distracted. Shotaro offers him a leopard print thick and soft blanket and Wonbin pulls it fast, taking Shotaro down with it.
Shotaro trips and falls on the couch, bumping his face on a pillow.
Wonbin laughs.
“Asshole.” Shotaro laughs too.
“Stay here with me.” Wonbin moves to the side, even though is not needed. The couch is tall, large, and made to fit a lot of people.
Shotaro complies and sits next to him - at this point, he doesn’t have a reason to refuse. Wonbin covers both of them to the waist and then, in surprising move, lays his head on Shotaro’s shoulder.
It’s still raining outside, but the sound seems far away. Shotaro doesn’t know if Wonbin fell asleep or not, so he takes the other man’s hand gently and holds it.
“Don’t do that,” Wonbin asks.
“I’m sorry.” Shotaro moves his hand away. “I didn’t--I wasn’t thinking about. Sorry.”
“I know you’re just touchy.” Wonbin yawns. “But you have a boyfriend now, so it’s weird.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Not yet.”
Shotaro sighs, tired of this conversation. He realizes that at least now he gets to spend time with Wonbin without a fight, so, he doesn’t want to ruin the mood.
“Was it a lot of trouble?” Shotaro asks. “The car thing?”
Wonbin snorts but he sounds like he’s just making fun of Shotaro.
“They didn’t care. They could have stopped the press but they didn’t even try--they threw me to the lions and hoped it would work out.”
“It did.”
“Oh, I mean. It’s still hell, but. At least I get to work.”
“No punishments?”
Wonbin lifts his head and shakes it.
“They cut my hair off.”
“As a punishment?!” Shotaro’s eyes widen.
“They call it ‘showing a new side,'” Wonbin explains. “It’s just a way to say I’m not pure anymore.”
“It looks nice, though. Don’t you like it?”
“Ah, I don’t know. Whatever. I thought you liked the bob.”
“Yeah, the bob was my favorite.”
“You won’t miss it. It’s not like you would pull it again.”
Shotaro is speechless. He winks slowly and looks at Wonbin, who is now leaning back on the couch.
“What?” Wonbin shrugs. “Yeah, I know why you liked it, you slu*t.”
“What’s up with you to--oh, yes. You’re high.”
“Never doing this sh*t again.” Wonbin sighs. “All I did was cough, taste burnt plant and now my stomach is hurting.”
“Yeah, because you ate my entire dinner in ten minutes.”
“Entire…? There’s enough food to feed a family. Did you plan on eating like, five bowls of Abura Sora?” Wonbin’s frown disappears slowly as he realizes it. “You’re waiting for someone to come.”
Shotaro just stares. The missing word hangs in the air.
“How did he find out about that time? Did he see it on the news?” Wonbin asks suddenly.
“No. I told him.”
Wonbin looks down and nods. Shotaro feels uncomfortable with the subject but he also feels like this is the only time in a long time that he and Wonbin are having a real conversation.
“I was jealous that day,” Wonbin says quietly. “You took him to Sohee’s party. Those are my friends too, you know. I felt replaceable. But I shouldn’t have--we shouldn’t have--I don’t even know.”
“What’s done is done.” Shotaro shrugs. “I’m sorry I made you feel this way.”
Wonbin stares at him, biting his lip like he’s thinking about a nice way of saying something.
“Stop this apologizing thing. You can say sorry a million times, but it won’t fix it,” Wonbin finally says. “I thought breaking your stuff would make me feel better. It didn’t. Nothing did. Not ignoring you or f*cking you, not even f*cking other people. You saying sorry--it’s even worse. I thought I’d be over it by now, but I’m not. It’s exhausting, but that’s my problem. I don’t want you to pity me.”
Shotaro is quiet - he hasn’t spoken that much Korean in months and he can’t even process that level of honesty coming from Wonbin. It’s a lot of new information.
“I’m leaving,” Wonbin suddenly says, standing up. “Where’s my phone?”
“In the kitchen.” Shotaro gestures vaguely. “You don’t have to leave, Bin--Wonbin. Stay until you feel better.”
“I won’t feel better here,” Wonbin says and he doesn’t spare Shotaro a look before going to the kitchen.
Shotaro lets his body fall on the couch and covers his face with his hands. He can see through the gap between his fingers the hidden TV, the frame next to the door, the plants, and the art on the wall. It’s so late and he’s so tired and sleepy but he feels restless. Wonbin’s steps are loud and they serve as a backing track to Shotaro’s thoughts.
He thinks about bright colors and broken gems. Smashed. Torn apart. Glued together.
Since he opened the Paris and the Korean store, his collections have been much more tame and conservative. Maybe he should just go back to his classics.
Wonbin stops next to the couch and stares at Shotaro lying there.
“I’m calling my cab,” he announces. “Where did you put my clothes?”
“Laundry room. Do not wear them this wet. It’s cold outside.” Shotaro gestures lazily. “Put them in an empty trash bag and take it with you.”
“So you want me to leave wearing no underwear?”
“Nobody can tell, Wonbin.”
The younger man nods and walks away again. Shotaro closes his eyes and breathes slowly until he feels pressure on his chest.
“Hey, don't fall asleep yet.” Wonbin is sitting next to him.
“What do you want now?” Shotaro asks slowly.
Wonbin bends down and kisses him. It’s not harsh, fast or even lusty. It’s just a kiss on the lips, soft and wet.
Shotaro is too exhausted to be surprised by it. Wonbin lifts his head and stares at him for a moment.
“I missed you.” He says simply.
“I missed you too.”
Wonbin stands, walks to the door holding the trash bag in his hand, and stops to look at a poster framed on the wall.
He takes it calmly and throws it on the floor loudly. The glass breaks into a million little pieces and the poster ends up visibly torn apart on Shotaro’s lime carpet.
Shotaro sits up, startled.
Wonbin opens the door, waves, and leaves. The sound of his steps is loud outside.
Shotaro stares at the broken frame, the glass pieces, and the damaged posters and flops back on the couch.
Not now.
It’s such a nice nap that he ignores at least one of the calls from the building. He finds his phone with his eyes closed, clicks on the button, and hopes for the best.
“ Shotaro-san? ”
“Yesnn…”
“There’s a man here. He says you’re waiting for him. ”
Shotaro opens his eyes immediately. He looks for the clock on the wall - it’s 9 a.m.
“f*ck!” He sits up; he’s never going to lose the ‘always late’ fame. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, what’s his name?”
“Song Eunseok.”
“Let him in,” Shotaro screams as he jumps off the couch, shocked that Eunseok risked coming to his place on his own and without any warning - he speaks basic Japanese and has been to Shotaro’s apartment. It’s still--
Well, Shotaro has no time to scold Eunseok in his mind because he has to clean the kitchen, and oh. He has to remove broken glass from his carpet as well.
Shotaro envisioned such a different scenario. In his mind, when Eunseok arrived at his place, he would have food ready, he would be looking good and perfumed and everything would be in place and now he’s running around, washing bowls in a minute and his face is puffy. God, his hair.
Eunseok knocks on the door instead of ringing the doorbell and Shotaro gets the vacuum with him to make sure there’s no glass on the floor.
“One minute,” he screams and when he kneels on the carpet, he lands on something and feels instant pain.
“sh*t,” Shotaro grunts, realizing he cut himself.
“Shotaro?” Eunseok asks.
He can’t help but stare at the door at the sound of Eunseok’s voice. It makes his heart beat a little faster and, well, he’s already bleeding on the carpet.
“Just open the door,” Shotaro sighs. He didn’t lock it.
Eunseok opens the door carefully and peeps out cutely, his big eyes looking around until he finds Shotaro on the floor.
He smiles.
Shotaro forgets the cut and the glass, the bowls, and his hair. It’s Eunseok there, his wood scent and calm expression; it’s not a dream.
“Hey.” Shotaro smiles back. “You’re here.”
Eunseok frowns.
“Are you bleeding?”
“I think so,” Shotaro mumbled. “But it’s okay. Stay out there--there are some--”
Eunseok walks in carefully and looks around. He removes his shoes, takes off his backpack, and investigates the floor before asking:
“Where do I find the first aid kit?”
“Bathroom.” Shotaro points.
Eunseok nods and goes there, so Shotaro vacuums the carpet around him until he’s sure it’s safe.
Eunseok comes back with the kit and sits next to him. He doesn’t say anything, he just taps his thigh, indicating where Shotaro has to rest the cut knee.
“It ripped the pants.” Eunseok says, opening the box.
“That’s fine,” Shotaro mumbles. There’s a red stain as well but he doesn’t care about the pants anymore.
Eunseok does it very slowly and carefully; dips the cotton wool in the disinfecting liquor and rubs it gently on the cut.
“Does it hurt?”
Shotaro barely listens. He just stares at the man next to him.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t hear your question.”
Eunseok snorts. He leans into Shotaro’s personal space, reaching for a kiss. Shotaro giggles and kisses him.
It’s just a loud smack and both laugh after it.
“Let me finish this,” Eunseok says, holding a plaster.
They clean the mess together. Now Shotaro feels a sting on his knee, but he’s able to clean the kitchen while Eunseok puts everything in the trash.
“Your house looks much cooler now,” Eunseok says suddenly, surprising Shotaro while he dries his hands.
“Do you think so?”
“Yeah. It was cool before, but it looked quite… boyish? Now it looks like it belongs to a grown man.”
Shotaro smiles, satisfied.
“How was the runway?”
“They were nice.” Eunseok is now staring at the suspended table. “Yesterday I stayed to be at the after party with them. It’s such a cool event. They gave me a flaming co*cktail.”
“Oh, I see.” Shotaro nods. “I was surprised about you coming… they usually pick Japanese models and Idols.”
“They asked the agency for models who could speak Japanese well,” Eunseok explains. “I’ve been studying it hard lately.”
Shotaro stares at him, expressionless.
“Oh.”
“Won’t you show me around?” Eunseok asks casually.
Shotaro gets the hint and takes him by the hand for a tour.
“Do you want us to start by the living room?”
“It doesn’t matter. Is that the right order?”
“Well, I started the project by the bathrooms because they were the only… hm… intact part in the house. But to be honest, the only big change there were the showers.”
“You could show me the showers later,” Eunseok says.
Shotaro stops and looks at him, squeezing the other man’s arm.
“You get the tour or you get to seduce me. Both things can’t happen at the same time.”
“I was just saying. You are the one with the dirty mind.”
“Ah, of course. The problem is me.”
“Go on.”
“So the living room… Well, I put way less furniture and decoration, that’s why it looks bigger. The couch was made to fit this whole wall and if you open it, it’s a king-sized bed. Just in case my friends want to stay over and the guest room is taken. The TV comes from the wall.” Shotaro proudly clicks on the button that makes the TV appear and watches Eunseok’s mouth forming an ‘O’. “Super cool, right? The sound system is invisible too and it’s super potent.”
“That’s nice.”
He takes Eunseok by the hand and opens the guest room door.
“This one is smaller now. They broke the wall to make a small office next to my room.” He stops Eunseok from walking in. “There’s nothing besides some new cool stuff to entertain the guests. video, projector, a mini fridge.”
He pulls his guest to the main room and turns on the lights.
“What do you think?” Shotaro looks at Eunseok’s expectantly. “This one I fully projected. The architect was tired of my requests, I swear.”
Eunseok walks in, looking around. The wallpapers are 70s inspired with flowers and the carpet is colorful. There are some shelves, mostly bright pink and green, and they have a few books and boxes. Eunseok finds the suspended collage of pictures and points at himself.
“Ha,” he giggles.
He turns to the platform bed and makes the shape of a circle with his fingers.
“This room looks like a psychedelic love hotel room.”
Shotaro can’t help but laugh.
“What?”
Eunseok looks up.
“No mirror on the ceiling.”
“What are you implying…” Shotaro shakes his head, smiling. “Well, to be honest, the bed vibrates but I don’t think I’ve ever tried it.”
Eunseok sits on the bed and keeps looking up.
“Is there a hidden sound system here?”
“Of course.”
“Ok,” Eunseok lays down then props himself up on his elbows. “It looks cool. I gotta admit. It’s very you.”
“Thanks. I’ve worked hard to make it look cool. Do you wanna see the office or my closet?”
Eunseok isn’t listening, probably. He’s looking at the details - and Shotaro is mesmerized by the sight of the man in his bed. It’s like a dream come true.
“It must be a hit with the guys,” Eunseok says quietly.
“Which guys?!” Shotaro lets out an annoyed sound, cracking his neck. “Why does everyone think I’m sleeping around?”
Eunseok giggles.
“It does look like a man trap here.”
“Shut up,” Shotaro walks to him to punch the other man lightly in the arm. Eunseok falls on the bed again, his ‘hahaha’ laugh echoing in the room.
Shotaro sits next to him and sighs:
“The only person to ever lay down in this bed was me and now you,” he complains. “I may have a lot of friends, but I’ve slept with only two people my entire life and everyone knows I’ve had the chance to make this number bigger but I didn’t.”
“There wouldn’t be any problem if you did,” Eunseok says sweetly.
“You wouldn’t be jealous of me?” Shotaro side-eyes him. “And you say you love me.”
“I would be jealous,” Eunseok nods, rubbing his head on the bed. “But I’d understand. We’re not dating… and you’re a hyper-sexual dude.”
“What? I’m not hyper-sexual. I don’t even know what that means.”
“It means you want to have sex every day.”
“Well, the last time I had sex I was in Korea and it was with you, so I don’t know about this.”
“But if I were here, you would want it every day. Actually, you made me do it twice a day back then. I had to shorten my jogging time.”
Shotaro laughs out loud.
“I’m crazy about you, so yeah, I want you all the time.”
Eunseok stares at him with a lazy smile. He looks so beautiful under the sunlight that hits the bed. His hair is now this strawberry blonde color that suits him so well and he has a plain black T-shirt and it’s so simple but he looks like a god.
Shotaro is so in love. It’s hard to keep it all inside.
“Won’t you ask me if I’m sleeping with someone else?” Eunseok asks.
“I’d rather not know.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to think about it.” Shotaro sighs and lies down next to Eunseok.
“So you’re not jealous. And you say that you love me.”
Shotaro snorts and turns to Eunseok and now they’re both facing each other.
“Do you want me to be jealous?”
“There’s no one to be jealous of.”
“Oh, I doubt it... I can tell at least ten names of people crushing on you and that’s only back in the office.”
Eunseok giggles again. He seems so happy.
“Ah, it’s funny. I wasn’t talking about people who like me. I was saying there’s no one but you in my heart.”
Shotaro touches Eunseok’s hair, pushes it behind his ear. They are so close, yet something is stopping them.
“Why are you hesitating so much?” Eunseok asks, perceptive as always.
Shotaro smiles sadly.
“You know why.”
Eunseok props himself on his elbows again and of course, he’s a model, but he looks like he’s posing as he looks at the ceiling.
“I’ve already accepted that you have a past and it’ll never go away. It comes with the package,” he says calmly, taking a deep calming breath. “But I want to be your future. Not a maybe. Not an if.”
He sounds so unthreatening but the words are like a gun to Shotaro’s face.
“It wasn’t a past before you came in,” Shotaro says.
Eunseok looks at him for a long time before saying it.
“I’d love to say that I feel sorry about it, but I’m not.”
Shotaro can’t even breathe at this point. He sits up and rubs his face. It’s too much sometimes. He stands up and walks around the room, feeling super energetic. Eunseok’s eyes follow him but the model is not moving at all.
sh*taro throws himself on the bed again, making Eunseok laugh.
“I can see you’re thinking hard, hyung.”
“I have to move to think,” he turns to Eunseok. “Are you aware you are terribly hot?”
Eunseok’s anwer is his classic hahaha.
“How long are you going to stay in Japan?”
“Well.” Eunseok sits up and sighs. “My birthday is coming so I can stay a few days and say it’s, like, a vacation.”
“Your birthday is in three weeks. You should stay with me the whole time.”
“Oh, I can’t spend my birthday away from my brother. He would cry.”
“Fine. I will take you to Korea before your birthday.”
“No.” Eunseok checks his nails, faking casualty. “Why would I stay here if we’re not even dating?”
Shotaro’s mouth opens widely in shock.
“I can’t believe you’re blackmailing me. You said you didn’t want a relationship--”
“That time? And you believed it? I just lied to you because I was horny and I wanted sex.”
“Oh my god.” Shotaro laughs hysterically. “Eunseok, who are you?
“It doesn’t matter if I said that once before. I also told you I wanted a serious thing, don’t pretend we didn’t have this conversation months ago.”
Shotaro stops laughing and takes a deep breath.
“I know.”
“So?”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
“It’s like Beyoncé says: you gotta put a ring on it,” he sings in English, moving his hands to the song.
“Those aren’t the lyrics and I gave you several rings and then you told me to stop it.” Shotaro made air quotes. “It’s a bit too much.”
“Well, the ring is a metaphor for commitment. I don’t want an actual ring.”
Shotaro sits up too, stressed.
“Ok, ok. What do you want me to do? Tattoo your name in my crotch?” He jokes. “Propose to you in front of the Eiffel Tower?”
“Meh,” Eunseok shrugs.
“Just say it.”
“Fine. I want to introduce you as my boyfriend to my family. There will be a family meeting on my birthday.”
Shotaro waits a couple of seconds to make sure it’s not just Eunseok’s sense of humor.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” Eunseok nods slowly.
Shotaro laughs.
“You won’t want that. I’m sure I’m any parent's worst nightmare.”
“What?” Eunseok leans back, frowning. “Hyung, are you out of your mind? You’re really a catch.”
The designer leaves the bed and starts to walk again. He’s nervous.
“Anyways, my brother told my parents I have a boyfriend, so.” Eunseok doesn’t seem to mind. “It’s just to make it official.”
“How did your brother find out?” Shotaro keeps pacing around the room.
“I showed him the locket picture. I didn’t think he would tell them about it, he usually keeps the secrets.”
Shotaro stops walking and god, he feels suffocated. He giggles and rubs his own hair. The idea of Eunseok showing the locket picture to his little brother and then shushing him is so warm and lovely that he simply can’t stand it.
“I love you so much,” he mumbles, defeated.
“I know,” Eunseok says. “Just say yes.”
Shotaro walks back to him and kneels in front of him, feeling the sting of the cut and promptly ignoring it.
“I’m going to meet them.” He puts his hands on Eunseok’s thigh. “But I have my demands too.”
“Tell me about it.” Eunseok holds Shotaro’s face gently.
“First, you’ll stay with me until your birthday. If you have to do something in Korea, then you take a flight, go there, and then come back to me.”
“Okay. I think I can do that “
“Second, now that we’re dating, I’ll show you off on my social media. Everybody needs to see you.”
Eunseok giggles, throwing his head back.
“Fine.”
“Third, now you’re my boyfriend, so… forget two times a day. Now it’s thrice a day. Maybe four, if we have the time.”
Eunseok leans down and presses their foreheads together.
“How about jogging? I need energy to exercise, hyung.”
“You should have thought about that before asking me to be your boyfriend. Now you’re going to exercise in this bed,” Shotaro says seriously. “You know I don’t play about that.”
Eunseok turns his head slowly and kisses him softly.
“That’s hypersexual,” Eunseok whispers.
“Stop calling me that word.” Shotaro pushes him down firmly to the bed, but he’s not angry.” You talk like it’s a burden and when we start then you don’t let me go.”
He kneels over Eunseok, and stares down at the beautiful man lying on his bed. At this point, his knee must be bleeding again. He couldn’t care less about it.
“So it’s a deal,” Eunseok says.
“Yeah.” Shotaro smiles. “Deal.”
.
.
.
Shotaro has a routine now. He wakes up (late), unglues his body from Eunseok, and heads to the bathroom. When he’s fully clean, he gets in his closet and chooses a nice outfit, necklaces, earrings, piercings, and rings. Then he goes to the kitchen and prepares breakfast for him and Eunseok, something light so they get some time to work out. But today is an important day, so everything is already in place.
He stands in the kitchen in his brown suit - it’s covered in buttons and there’s a pink shirt underneath, so it doesn’t look too professional - silver strings and rings, with a bag of sweet potato snacks and opens the fridge.
Eunseok walks to the living room and he’s wrapped in the thin white blankets like one of those Greek gods depictions. Shotaro snorts but he’s also mesmerized by it.
“Eat and leave it there,” Eunseok orders. “I’ll clean everything. Don’t get late, you clean freak!”
“Or what? Are you going to summon a thunder and throw it on me?” Shotaro opens a protein drink bag and drinks it like he's about to run a marathon.
“Sohee is in the airport already, answer your phone.” Eunseok sighs and he puts Shotaro’s phone on the table. “Call me if you need something. I’ll be studying.”
“Have you seen where I put my locket?”
“I have never seen it besides in photos. Not even sure if it exists.”
Shotaro watches the other man leave, finishes his drink and runs. Sohee hates to wait in the airport and Shotaro will take some time to get there. He listens to his work messages and when he finally arrives, he looks at his social media while Sohee gets to the car.
osakishotaro: me and silverrock_319 had a blast at the karaoke (I won)
silverrock_319: I wasn’t trying
jsg.bmb: silverrock_319 never wins
haniiiiiiiii: nice pic!
lee.sohee: let me get there so I can destroy BOTH of you
osakishotaro: we’re not taking you to karaoke sohee
lee.sohee: cowards
Shotaro laughs, alone in the car. Sohee appears after a few minutes and he’s bringing a lot of bags for a person that is supposed to stay just the weekend.
“I thought my Japanese was much better.” He sighs, entering the car. “I guess I don’t have to be here or around you every day so I’m rusty.”
“What happened?” Shotaro throws the bag in the back seat.
“Lots of new slang I can’t catch up with,” he answers. “Oh, hyung, look at the time, we need to go. Are you ready?”
That’s a great question.
“I guess. Thank you for coming, you didn’t have to.”
“I can’t miss it,” Sohee smiles brightly. “Also, I can’t let you make any mistakes.”
Shotaro side-eyes him, but, well. It’s nice to have someone around to help him. It’s the first time they’ll open the Archive to the public, even if it’s through a magazine. Shotaro has to answer questions about himself, his work, single pieces, collections, and even know what else they’ll ask. At this point it is clear that he’s going to be in the 30 under 30 - they asked him to “take a profile picture” at a famous Photographic Studio with a renowned photographer. It’s not a regular interview. The interviewing team is already there when they arrive, sitting on the checkered black-and-white chairs in the OSAKI store; a tall lady, a man with a camera and a young guy with a recorder machine. Shotaro looks at them through the thick glass wall before opening the door with a smile. The employees working are as nervous as him, probably and Shotaro has never seem the furry white carpet and the wood and glass counter looking so bright.
“Hello, nice to see you, thank you for coming,” Shotaro bows repeatedly as he walks in. Sohee is probably mimicking him a few steps behind.
The designer leads him to the Archive room, which is not accessible to employees or guests. They need to pass through the metal detector, and then be identified. There’s a security guard, but there are also cameras and a strong security system. The whole thing takes a good ten minutes and even Shotaro needs to go through every step because they’re monitoring everyone.
The Archive room is not big. The room has no windows and it’s filled with custom-built metal cabinets with tags, numbers, and names. In the center of the room, there is a table and two chairs where one can sit and analyze the pieces. They need to put powder on their hands and then plastic gloves before touching anything. Even the photographer is holding the camera with the gloves on.
“Where do you want to start?” Shotaro asks the interviewer politely. She introduced herself as Ms. f*ckotomi and she looked like she was in her forties.
“Where is the start for you, Mr. Osaki?” She asks gently.
Sohee, standing by the door, seems to understand the question by the way he reacts as if he’s impressed.
Shotaro takes his time to answer.
“Well, the first jewelry I designed and crafted isn’t here. They were sold when I was in University, so, I guess I can show you the first one to be sold at this store.”
He guides her to the shelf and opens the cabinet, showing the rings. She asked about the demand, the clients, and the inspiration. The first part of the interview seemed to be very focused on finding out how the brand started.
“Actually, my friend Anton was the one who suggested the name. He was still a teenager back then, but he was definitely good at marketing.” Shotaro laughed. “My friends and my business partners supported me a lot. I didn’t take any of my parents' money or help to build this, I did it on my own.”
“It’s remarkable how much you were able to achieve in such a short time.” She said kindly.
“I was really lucky.” Shotaro bows, nervous. “Many showed interest in our work. Especially in Europe. They were the first store overseas.”
“The Paris one?”
“Yes.”
“I was informed that your biggest numbers come from the Korean one, right?” She checks her notes.
“Yes.” He smiles and points to the door. “Lee Sohee, the head of the Korean office, is actually here.”
She stares at Sohee and sighs.
“You two are so young.” She giggles.
“I get that a lot,” Shotaro agrees. “But we all started very young.”
“He’s Korean, I suppose.” She nods at Sohee. “It’s hard for Japanese brands to thrive in Korea.”
“Yes, it’s true,” Shotaro says. “But we were able to create something they enjoy. I speak Korean too and my business partner is Korean, just like all the employees there, all the businesses we hire. The models as well. So the OSAKI Korean store is a part of the country.”
“To build the trust, I see.”
“Yes.”
The man with the camera is no longer taking pictures, but the man recording the conversation never stops taking notes.
“Talking about the international market, are you able to talk about the dupes controversy in China?”
Shotaro blinks several times.
“Dupes… controversy?”
“One of your pieces was one of the most reproduced jewelry in Mainland China for the past years,” she explains slowly. “Aren’t you aware?”
Sohee coughs.
“We don’t intervene in reproductions for personal use,” Sohee says in Korean. “And the piece in question was never sold, so our lawyers can’t do anything about the stores that sell the dupes.”
Shotaro translates it word by word and then realizes that she’s talking about Wonbin’s fans and their fake necklaces that resemble his.
“It was a gift,” Shotaro says simply. “We don’t even have another one here in the archive.”
“But it’s your copyrighted design.” She says.
“Yes, like every piece, but--they don’t have bad--they’re appreciating it,” he struggles to answer. “I feel honored that they like it, that’s all.”
“Since we’re on the subject of liking…” She continues to check her notes. “Some of your pieces were bought but destroyed--”
Sohee coughs again, now louder. When Shotaro looks at him, he shakes his head - no.
“I’m really sorry.” Shotaro smiles. “We’re not supposed to talk about this.”
She seems confused, holding her notes and looking at Sohee and then at Shotaro. The man taking notes stops and the photographer, who seems quite bored, looks at them.
“Why not?” She inquires.
“It involves a few sensitive events and people.” Shotaro gulps.
“I see.” She nods.
The next question is about the Valentine’s Day collection sold to a NY store. Shotaro answers as he should, but he feels a bit off. There’s this memory of a high Wonbin in his kitchen, holding his face with the coldest fingers, raspy slow voice saying ‘you can’t erase me from your life’.
“Shotaro-san?”
The sound of the machine, the scribbling, and the photographer’s steps are distracting.
“I’m sorry.” He smiles apologetically. “I-I got lost.”
“I was asking about your favorite piece.”
He frowns, looking at the bright red color of her lips and how it matches with the blouse. The lights are too bright.
“My favorite piece?”
“She asked you to show us your favorite piece,” Sohee says, approaching Shotaro. “Hyung, are you ok?”
“Yes.” He smiles again, holding Sohee’s arm to ground himself. “I don’t think I have a favorite piece.”
“Well, you love that suncatcher pendant or… maybe the piercing collection, I mean, you have them...” Sohee stares at him and winks.
“Okay.” Shotaro nods. “We have a body piercing collection that I really like.”
When they’re showing it to the interview crew, Shotaro realizes that the correct answer is the locket. But he would never talk about something he designed for himself.
Sohee only relaxes when it’s over. Shotaro feels disconnected from reality, a bit sleepy and distracted. They go back to Shotaro’s apartment as soon as they leave, and Sohee asks about Shotaro’s Japanese friends, work and other things.
“You’re not talking a lot, hyung.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I haven’t got many hours of sleep lately.”
“Insomnia?”
“Eunseok.”
Sohee rolls his eyes, shaking his head after.
“Not this again.”
“Well, you asked. Also, it’s not this, we’re dating. I’m going to Korea to meet his parents.”
“Oh,” Sohee is surprised. “Has he met yours?”
“I didn’t introduce him as my boyfriend, but yeah. I guess they know about him.”
“Hm, that’s nice.” Sohee nods. “I hope you guys date for a long time and everything goes well. The past few months were too chaotic for my tastes.”
“I’m sorry.” Shotaro says firmly. “I’ll try my best to not let my personal life affect the brand, you, or anyone else again.”
Sohee plays with the bag he’s holding while he pouts.
“Hyung, I was worried about you…”
“I know… but you don’t have to. I’m fine.”
Sohee sighs. Shotaro doesn’t like when Sohee or anyone worries about him, so he offers to buy the younger man a meal.
Sohee's choice is just golden curry.
Shotaro drives to his favorite place when it comes to curry and he’s happily reminded that it's near a Korean chicken store. He leaves Sohee to order the food and goes to the store to buy something to take home. Eunseok seems to be enjoying Shotaro’s food, of course, but he’s probably missing some of his favorite dishes.
It’s fun to go there thinking he’s getting some for his boyfriend; he can even say it if someone asks. Eunseok is studying so hard, always with his Japanese books and podcasts on. He told his family this was a trip to improve his Japanese and Shotaro thought it was just an excuse, but when the model is not busy with everyday tasks, he’s doing something to learn the language.
Shotaro notices the Korean Chicken Store is crowded, but most people are around the TV, not the counter. He approaches the cashier and asks for a few boxes to go.
The group watching the huge screen screams.
“What’s happening?” Shotaro asks the cashier.
“It’s an American award show,” he explains. “I’m sorry if they’re loud…”
“No,” Shotaro says quickly. “I was just curious. I think it’s fun.”
While he waits for his order, he sits next to the counter and watches the group. They’re young and they’re mostly sitting at the tables, eating.A man sits next to him after ordering. Shotaro barely pays attention because he’s watching the show and recognizing the foreign musicians.
“Ah, this is a spot for these kids who like Korean music and dramas…?” The man asks.
“I guess so.” Shotaro nods. Some are speaking in Korean and he’s able to understand that they aren’t fluent.
“Ah, annoying.” The man grunts.
Shotaro snorts, watching them eating together with their photocard holders and plushies.
A category is announced on the screen and it makes the group react, some even standing. Shotaro stares at the screen and watches the presenters with the card. He can’t hear what they’re saying because the kids are screaming.
The camera pans to the nominees, one by one, and Shotaro jumps off his chair when he sees Anton. It takes him a second to realize that Wonbin is next to him.
Shotaro looks at the plushies and photocards. They’re Wonbin fans. He turns to the side, startled, but the kids haven’t noticed him and probably won’t - they are announcing the winner.
The camera is back to Wonbin and the screams become almost unbearable. He won.
The table he’s sitting at is full of older men who congratulate him and when he stands, Anton stands behind him. He’s going to translate, Shotaro realizes knowing how Wonbin refuses to speak in English. The camera follows Wonbin on his way to the stage while he waves and nods to those acknowledging him. He’s wearing a full black suit with a black shirt underneath and he opens the suit jacket while he climbs the stairs. Anton follows him a few steps behind, stopping next to the mic but a bit far enough so Wonbin can speak first.
“Thank you so much,” Wonbin smiles.
The kids who were once screaming suddenly get quiet.
“I’d like to thank my company, my manager, my family, and friends for their support,” he says and then waits until Anton translates it. “It’s an honor to be here and receive this award given by my American fans.”
He looks around, smiling, while Anton speaks.
“I’ll continue to work hard to be an artist you’re proud of. I’d like to assure everyone who voted for me that you’re my priority and that I’ll be showing much more in the future. Sincerely, thank you for staying by my side and supporting me. Thank you so much.”
Wonbin waits until Anton finishes translating to bow formally, standing there for a few seconds as he’s applauded by the people in the ceremony. As soon as he bows, a chain falls from inside of his button shirt, hanging on his neck.
No one seems to notice or care and maybe it’s just an irrelevant detail, but Shotaro knows it well, and when Wonbin stands straight again the little heart is right on his chest. Not a star. A locket.
Shotaro touches his own chest and realizes he didn’t find his locket in the morning - actually, he hasn’t seen it for a while.
The camera zooms in and Wonbin holds the award. There’s no doubt it’s Shotaro’s locket around his neck.
“Not this kid again.” The man next to Shotaro grunts again. “I swear you can’t escape this guy. He’s everywhere!”
“Chicken Wings and Cheesy dakgalbi!” Someone screams. It’s Shotaro’s order. He stands up and takes it, confused and disoriented for a moment. He holds the bags and walks away from the store, trying to remember the way to the restaurant he left Sohee in.
He stands on the sidewalk holding the bags, alone. Compared to the screaming sounds inside the store, the streets are calm and quiet. In the middle of March, the weather is much better, the sun is out and there’s a lot to see. He turns back and sees his reflection on a mirrored wall and it’s crystal clear.
.
.
.
.
